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limericks

 
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madameshawshank



Joined: 30 Sep 2004
Posts: 1654
Location: Penrith (where jacarandas remind me of change), New South Wales, Australia

PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 5:15 am    Post subject: limericks Reply with quote

Wink

Said Freud: 'I've discovered the Id.
Of all your repressions be rid.
It won't ease the gravity
Of all the depravity,
But you'll know why you did what you did.'

Frank Richards
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Judy



Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 1196
Location: buried under a pile of books somewhere in Adelaide, South Australia

PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 9:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My friend won a trip for 2 to Ireland at the Henty Field Days last year with this little gem ...

At Henty, it's usually the fashion
Not machinery, that fires my passion!
But the Ireland display
Took my breath away
And the great tours from Insight were smashin'!
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Griffin



Joined: 09 Jun 2006
Posts: 932
Location: England

PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 12:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This one's about the first George Bush, rather than the current one...

One lunchtime while quaffing some ale,
George Bush's heart started to fail.
And things got much worse
When a well-meaning nurse
Said: "Don't worry I've sent for Dan Quayle."

Or...

There was a young lady of Penge
Who had a day out with some friends
She was given some fluid
By a randy old druid,
And now she's the toast of Stonehenge.

While Santa was out in his sleigh
He said: "How I love Christmas Day!
All over the earth
We rejoice in his birth."
And the reindeer all shouted: "Oy vey!"

When Santa gets bored in his grotto
He doesn't play bingo or lotto.
He sits on a shelf,
And toys with an elf,
"Sod this for a lark!" is his motto.

Or regarding herbal remedies...

I have an aversion to dill.
I've been given an anti-dill pill.
Taken three times a day,
In an unusual way,
Still it gives me a bit of a thrill.

There's something about oregano
That prevents you from singing soprano
To hit a high C,
Take this tip from me,
Wear a truss made of rusty meccano.
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woodstocker



Joined: 08 Dec 2005
Posts: 224
Location: kingston, ny

PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poetry has never been my forte (esp after multiple english teachers who beat the poor things to death), but your limericks did elicit a chuckle. Well done! Laughing
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Griffin



Joined: 09 Jun 2006
Posts: 932
Location: England

PostPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Woodstocker,

Forget all the poetry-abuse of your skool-daze... read it for yourself... no dramatising of it, just read the words and enjoy the sounds of them as they are... Let me recommend...

Tennyson's Lady of Shalott
All the short verse by Ogden Nash
Cautionary Tales by Hilaire Belloc
High Waving Heather by Emily Bronte... just to start with Wink

As for being a woodstocker....

There was a guitarist called Hendrix
At Woodstock he showed his favourite trix,
Behind his head, and with his teeth,
He played the guitar in just two tix.
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woodstocker



Joined: 08 Dec 2005
Posts: 224
Location: kingston, ny

PostPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One of my bestest friends in an English major here at uni, with a concentration in British lit. I forget what time period mostly (I believe Romanticism), but I do know she's read (almost) all of Shakespeare's works and could probably count on one hand the pieces she hasn't read. I'm busy reading Miri Ruben's The Hollow Crown for 14th C English History, which is taking precedence over the collection of Voltaire I have on my shelf.

Griffin, did you know that none of the Woodstock Music festivals actually happened in Woodstock? After they printed up all the paperwork for the 1st one in '69, they found out they needed permits, which they weren't given, so the location was moved to Bethel, out in the middle of nowhere. Now there's an ampitheatre there, with great acustics. I've been sledding where the '94 festival was (2 miles from my house).
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Griffin



Joined: 09 Jun 2006
Posts: 932
Location: England

PostPosted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 11:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
none of the Woodstock Music festivals actually happened in Woodstock? After they printed up all the paperwork for the 1st one in '69, they found out they needed permits, which they weren't given, so the location was moved to Bethel, out in the middle of nowhere.

Laughing Laughing That's sooo British!! Welcome to London... well near London... but no, not actually in London... it's only five minutes... by train!!!

It sounds like having a London Festival and holding it in East Croydon!!
Tho' the Bethel Festival would have sounded good too.

The Romantics are early 19th century, Blake, Coleridge, Shelley, Wordsworth (good name for a poet!) and Byron who's home, Newstead Abbey is not all that far from here and worth a visit if you're in the neighbourhood. It's such a shame when poetry is ruined at school. I got lucky, our English teacher had been trained as an opera singer... she had a lovely voice and one summer read the Lady of Shalott to us. She let the words carry her voice, which is the way to read poetry. I have never forgotten that day or that poem....

"But Lancelot mused a little space
He said, 'She hath a lovely face,
God in His mercy lend her grace
The Lady of Shalott.'"...

If you can find a good translation, have a look at Rimbaud's poem, 'Ophelie' too... lovely stuff.

Ok having been corrected...

A young singer called Janis Joplin,
To Bethel was carefully drivin'
In her Mercedes Benz that
The Lord was procurin'
Especially for our Janis Joplin.
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