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Too late to de-lurk...
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Feste



Joined: 03 Apr 2005
Posts: 32
Location: Berkeley, CA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 5:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah Lakritz! You described my feelings exactly.

I like the anonymity of a forum, but it is difficult to actually discuss experiences without revealing personal identity details. And it's not as if I prefer this way of interacting; I don't. It's just nice to occasionally have a different environment, a break, if you will, from the norm, and be in a place where perceptions are based solely on what one chooses to submit to the space.

Please understand, I mean no offense to anyone who likes to know more personal details! I adore this site and this forum and have learned so much from everyone here, and I have no desire to criticize anyone for their preferences. And obviously I have posted some details of my life, but the information was released by choice, not circumstance.

Or maybe I'm just a big ol' control freak... Wink

Anyways, thanks for the continuing lively discussions.

Oh, and by the way Lakritz, "wallpaper" is the name of a fabulous magazine about interiors, kind of design-y, pretty trendy.
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simona



Joined: 11 Mar 2005
Posts: 696
Location: israel

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 6:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know why, but there is something is this thread that irritates the logical side in me, and drives me to try to explain my point of view rather ... stubbornly. Hope you won't get mad at me.
anonym, anonymity, anoyimous: person who remain nameless, of unknwn name ( concise oxford dictionnary). Anonymity is about the PHYSICAL PERSONA, and we remain anonymous because we don't reveal our names, adresses, phone numbers or even photos. Physical appearance is of no relevance because WE DON"T SEE EACH OTHER, so what has shaving armpits or hair style to do with it? We have the choice to choose what we reveal, but as far as I know, nobody ever was worried about her/his physical appearance on this forum, because it COULD NEVER be an issue.( It might be intersting to open a topic about the relation appearance vs. judgement, but that another issue)
Lakritz opened a welcomed topic ( in my opinion) and she chose what to reveal , but there was nothing about looks. On your post Feste you did reveal physical appearance feature, and it's OK, so why the warning? Nobody ever ( as far as I know) adressed this issue, or asked any questions, and rising it is also revealing. How can someone be afraid of a judgement based on physical appearances when there is no way to know what he/she looks? But as Sarape said, this is not a therapy session, so back to food.
At least food should and can be judged by appearance. The final"verdict" though will be made after the tasting, after the dish has revealed itself. Like in life actually ( oops, there I slip again...)
Karen, I agree with you concerning the names issue, but I like the imaginative nicknames, and sometimes try to decode them. After a while, anyhow we reveal enough from ourselves so as to know age, gender, profession, hobbies, political views, food preferences, and wht not. But we still remain anonymous.
It's good to have young members in the forum and welcome Karen. I am impatient to hear about your country, the food and whatever you can share with us. ( I visited the Phillipines briefly 15years ago)
Lakritz, well done about your 50'. I become a step -grandmother at 41, and I used to walk around with the baby, talking loudly so everyone could hear : smile to granny, come to garnny etc. and the look on t those faces and they questioning eyes! what a treat. No more of this today, when I walk with the little one, nobody mistakes me for his mother. Sic transit gloria mundi!.

No more war, no more fear, more dialogues
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Barbara



Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 899
Location: Gold Coast Australia

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 10:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lakritz - hers a link to Wallpaper magazine.
http://www.wallpaper.com/

Simona - nice avatar. I'll probably get one one day!

Karen - Looking forward to when you post on your blog.
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Barbara
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Sarape



Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Posts: 583
Location: Anniston Alabama USA

PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 5:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think appearances are a fairly accurate guide to a person's character. I usually form an opinion of someone by their dress, body language, body shape, makeup, jewelry, etc.

And I'm usually pretty accurate. Of course, I never form a fixed opinion before talking with a person.

Feste, your description of yourself, where you live, and what you do have given me an initial impression of you. (Those things and the fact that you are aware enough to know that other people are aware of these things.) Berkeley, CA, sometimes unshaved arms, very short hair sometimes, a furniture maker -- I can tell you're not a social conservative.

The issue for you was having to consider appearances in everyday life. Why worry about it? Does it matter what strangers think of you?

I'm not challenging your view Feste, and I'm not suggesting you reveal more on this forum. Just wondering why you care what other people think.
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' She says, 'I am the glamorous type.' I said, 'So what?'
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Sarape



Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Posts: 583
Location: Anniston Alabama USA

PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Feste -- I just reread your post and think I misunderstood.

You were concerned that other people interpret your views because they are influenced by your physical appearance.

That's why on this forum, your opinions can be taken "straight" since we don't know those personal things. Now I see the logic.
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' She says, 'I am the glamorous type.' I said, 'So what?'
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Rainey



Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 2498
Location: Los Angeles, California, USA

PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sarape- Did you know you can delete your own posts by choosing that "x" in the upper righthand corner?
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simona



Joined: 11 Mar 2005
Posts: 696
Location: israel

PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarape, I'm happy you didn't delete the first post on the subject concerning physical appearance and views.
Simona
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Bekbeka



Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Posts: 108
Location: France

PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This topic perfectly coincides with thoughts I've been having lately, with the blog I've started and thinking about how much of 'me' I put in there, and if I want it just for me and my family/friends, or want it available more widely. Watch this space.

I sort of agree with Simona, but don't fully. Despite the apparent anonymity of this medium - no physical appearance, no judgements based on job, income, lifestyle, etc - there is also a part of it that isn't anonymous in the sense that you are projecting yourself out there for others to take to or not, to make judgments about what you do choose to reveal. Unless you're participatng for some other reasons, you probably aren't projecting a person who isn't you. A person shy in 'real life' may still feel shy here. Not speaking from personal experience of course.
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madameshawshank



Joined: 30 Sep 2004
Posts: 1654
Location: Penrith (where jacarandas remind me of change), New South Wales, Australia

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 12:09 am    Post subject: hot off the presses Reply with quote

wait for this dears...

go to allposters.com

type in wallpaper in the search bar

'n up comes a glorious photo of said Barbara of NZ, in THE daintiest of slips mind you, sitting against her beloved wallpaper Wink

it's rather nice to be back....such dark places I seem to visit Sad

am wondering how THE wedding was....have thought often of David, the lovely David.

clinking glasses time with Norah Jones singing in the background..delights my ears 'n then my soul..maybe I have soulful ears...so it would seem..

.cheers to you all
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"I've never accepted the external appearance of things as the whole truth. The world is much more elaborate than the nerves of our eye can tell us." - James Gleeson
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Barbara



Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 899
Location: Gold Coast Australia

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 12:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Madame!
P.S. Welcome back
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Barbara
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Karen Weena



Joined: 19 Jul 2005
Posts: 26
Location: Makati City, Philippines

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 8:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks to you all for your kindness.
You know the normal protoccol, when somebody has to introduce you to somebody else, there has to be a short rundown of who you are. Almost always this includes what you do, affiliations, civil status.
Sometimes, this is so limiting, because then the initial discusion will be centered on the contents of the introduction. Especially when, like in my case, the official job is just for steady income, and real interests lie somewhere else, which do not really get mentioned. People build up on who you are based on those first few minutes, the result of which, to say the least, is partially false, or not entirely true.
Whereas here, I think you get a sense of who people really are, without, all the layers as you've said.
And I realized, my username is also a stage name. Although it's my full real name, I don't use it in my official papers in the "real" world.
Simona, glad to know you were here once. I was in your country, too, for about two weeks, twice. The last one was ten years ago. Both were unforgettable experiences, made more poignant by the fact that I'm a practicing Catholic.
Been finetuning some things in my website. Will be blogging soon.
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simona



Joined: 11 Mar 2005
Posts: 696
Location: israel

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 2:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Karen, I was very pleasantly surprised you've visited Israel and I'm very happy you liked it. I hope more of our friends here will do that.
As for the main issue raised in this thread, I would like to conclude my personal input with a last opinion: I am of course aware that people ALSO judge you by your appearance, but that's really the first time. Everybody is aware of that, therefore, unless it's an interview for a beauty contest or anything else dealing directly with physical appearance, what will probably determine a relationship or an opinion is what cames next: your personality, your character, what you say, ehat you do, what you like, etc. If that woudn't be so, the streets would be empty and everybody would be ashamed to show him/her/self. So , on a more general scale, our physical appearance ( which we can change, does change with age ' can be modified, etc) is secondary in our relations with people. Therefore it doesn't really bother me , it never has, and I can assure you I've never been even close to ..... Julia Roberts. ( ha, ha)
Waiting for phillipino goodies,
Simona
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