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Crimes Of Fashion

 
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Knifethrower



Joined: 29 Oct 2006
Posts: 218
Location: Heaven, actually.

PostPosted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 3:58 pm    Post subject: Crimes Of Fashion Reply with quote

Hi Everyone!

I'm the new keyboardist, and I have been enjoying this site for weeks, savoring the whole thing like a very costly mug of fine Guatemalan El Injerto coffee- huddled over the desk chair, polar fleece swaddled and blissfully happy.

My pitch to you all is this:

I have secured a new rental house with a kitchen that was decorated by a circus clown on psychotic agents.

My walls are sunflower yellow
My cabinet faces and mouldings are lime green.
My doors and drawers are orange.
The back door is navy blue.

I have spent two hundred dollars and hours of labor on sanding, priming, painting and otherwise removing all traces of chaos from this desecrated room. The only thing I have not yet done is call a poltergeist specialist for an exorcism.

Please cheer me up with tales or images from your own lives. I need moral support!

(I will try to figure out how to post the images of "Before" and "Ahhhhhhhfter". Its too unbelievable to be missed.)
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Zoe



Joined: 28 Oct 2005
Posts: 118
Location: Haifa, Israel

PostPosted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, knifethrower, my own kitchen, if you can call it that, is tiny. It has no useful built in cabinets (I've gotten v. creative with storage!). It has pink tiles halfway up the walls, and not a pretty pink. Basically, it looks as though it was last dealt with during the darkest days of the 1970s. Which it probably was.

Also, the place is a rental, like yours. But I have no home improvement talents and no intention of paying for the job. Obviously it wouldn't be fair to the owners to expect them to pay for an overhaul as it is fully functional. Hmm - I guess that is the glass half-full bit.

Is this depressing or cheering?

One day I'll have a beautiful kitchen. I promise!
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Rainey



Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 2498
Location: Los Angeles, California, USA

PostPosted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You could quickly slap up some neutral paint that you could live with while you figured out what you really wanted and undertook to restore first one wall and then another to the condition that makes you happy.

It sounds pretty riotous and nerve jangling.
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Barbara



Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 899
Location: Gold Coast Australia

PostPosted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 9:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome Knifethrower - I'm happy to say I love my kitchen. It is very pastel with the cupboards almost the same green colour as the C&Z background (they have a slightly more blue grey tinge), and my beloved white Corian benchtops. I have white appliances, because if I was going to have stainless steel I'd want a very industrial look and that wouldn't suit this house. I believe a kitchen should look like a kitchen so I don't hide my fridge or dishwaher behind cupboard doors. The only small appliance on show is the electric jug. MY husband insists on keeping the tea caddy near the jug but I put it in the cupboard whenever his back is turned. I have a wine basket which sits near the stove which I keep a bottle of oil in and the only other decoration is a tile I painted in a Mondrian style to put hot pots on. The benches are totally free of jars of utensils or anything ele because I can't bear (bare?) clutter. The sink looks out onto the street and my benchtop gas hob sits on a wide bench facing the dining room table. I looked at the pics on your web site. Scary stuff! Is this a halloween joke?
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Barbara
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Judy



Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 1196
Location: buried under a pile of books somewhere in Adelaide, South Australia

PostPosted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 10:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barbara's kitchen is beautiful. Her whole house is.

Knifethrower, I'm almost lost for words. That kitchen is ... incredible. Very retro. Very 70s. Very hard on the eyes. At least it's colourful. Friends of ours have just moved into an early 1900s house which is beautiful but needs a lot of work (of course!). And the first things that need work are the bathroom with all-brown fittings - who thought THAT was a good idea? - and the kitchen with matching brown stove. Yuk!

Good luck with your painting, Jen.
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Rachel



Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 296
Location: Santa Barbara, CA

PostPosted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Knifethrower, I used to think my kitchen was bad... til I read about yours! Neverthless, mine is bad enough to cheer you up (I think!) - the walls are painted a horrible, lurid yellow, the sort that would give Van Gogh a nervous breakdown. (Though given that we're talking about Van Gogh perhaps that's not saying much!) My flat is a rental too, and I share with two others, so I'm stuck with the scary kitchen til I've finished my dissertation and have got a job that allows me to move somewhere else (hopefully with nice pale walls)!!
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Knifethrower



Joined: 29 Oct 2006
Posts: 218
Location: Heaven, actually.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 2:06 am    Post subject: Step awaaaay from the paintroller! Reply with quote

Well. my new friends, I can honestly tell you the truth:

Sadly, no, this was NOT a Halloween joke, but its timeliness must raise a few eyebrows. Were that I could in all clean conscience dupe all of you for holiday folly, but I have my dignity, and it does NOT allow for orange paint.

Paint is your friend. Three shades of neutral gray paint, white trim and a few silly spots of chalkboard paint later, the paramedics have left and my kitchen should survive.

My boyfriend is better at choosing paint colors than I am, hands down.

I agree with the clutter factor. I don't want pandemonium on my counters- I have been without a grownup sized kitchen, with room to play, for about three years. Close quarters and bumping behinds in the present galley kitchen is far from getting old on the Grope-ablilty Scale, but the constant yelling of "INCOMING!" as I open the broiler gets bothersome.

You guys rock- Stay tuned for photos of the finished kitchen...hopefully no later than the middle of the next month.
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therubyslippers



Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Posts: 4
Location: London

PostPosted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 1:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Knifethrower - I'm afraid I don't really have any ktichen aid for you, but thank you for one of the funniest rants I've ever read. I look forward to seeing the before and magical after.
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Judy



Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 1196
Location: buried under a pile of books somewhere in Adelaide, South Australia

PostPosted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

therubyslippers, there's an update

http://chocolateandzucchini.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=17857#17857

and on knifethrower's blog. It's well worth visiting to see the 'before' and 'after' photos.
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MelC



Joined: 13 Jul 2005
Posts: 64
Location: Ontario Canada

PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Knifethrower... I empathize with your sensory overload!

My current home is not so bad, but I had a rental a few years ago that I believe was decorated by the same people as yours!

The front hall was yellow with royal blue trim. It opened into a room that was sponged coral orange over red. From that room you could go into the living room (burgundy) the hall upstairs (grey sponged) or the kitchen... yellow with royal blue & lime green (yes.. even brighter than yours!) trim.

Upstairs, each room was sponged in a different, and ugly colour. I swear, the previous tenant must have been colour-blind!

The house we're in now as I said is not so bad, except for the very dated choice in carpet colours for 2 rooms on the main floor... dusty rose and forest green. Since we are not in a position to replace the carpeting yet, I am stuck with a bad 80's tone for these 2 rooms, for a little while anyhow.

Oh well...it could be worse!!
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Knifethrower



Joined: 29 Oct 2006
Posts: 218
Location: Heaven, actually.

PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, Mel.....

Thank you so much for your harrowing description. Did you go to sleep with a blindfold on and earplugs in every night???

My landlord came over tonight to do lease paperwork. He said, "This is nice paint, what color is it?"

I almost replied, "Its called, 'You Owe Me A Lotta Money Grey'...thanks for asking!".

CHEERS!
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therubyslippers



Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Posts: 4
Location: London

PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oo yes, ouch, I see the problem. But all calm on the kitchen front now, by the looks. Thanks for the link, Judy.
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