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A Question of Manners ?
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woodstocker



Joined: 08 Dec 2005
Posts: 224
Location: kingston, ny

PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 12:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Parties and other formal events are a separate thing altogether in my book. B/c you know that some degree of clean up will be involved both before and after! Especially during warmer months when guests and host will probably be going in and out to the yard/bbq/whichever. But for casual visits, I'd rather be shoe-less. At least at someone's house that I know well. However, if I don't have socks on (flip-flops/thongs are de rigeur in my family in the summer) I do feel odd barefoot in stranger's homes.
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gingerpale



Joined: 23 Jan 2006
Posts: 1324

PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL I'm *floored* by this response--and surprised like georgia that this is such a common practice. Debbie, I'm amazed that an entire aprtment building has this policy! But as for me, I stand firm, wouldn't ask a guest to remove ANY article of clothing in my home unless it was for *their* comfort.. (As in "May I take your coat?") nor would I ask them to wear little paper or crocheted slippers, or a hair net, or to sit on plastic chair covers.
HOWEVER, I see now it certainly would be a nice custom to offer to remove shoes when visiting.
Actually, good doormats (outside and INside the door) make clean-up pretty minimal. And be very sure you have not overlooked any broken glass bits, pins, staples, splinters, tiny toys, etc. -- shoes protect from more than mud and water.
Griffin you're so funny--actually, who cares who's shod--more important,
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Erin



Joined: 18 Oct 2004
Posts: 1654
Location: Within view of Elliot Bay, The Olympics and every ship in the Sound

PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 1:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bluedog, I was totally thinking that! "This is an outfit", I love that one. That and my best friends creepy toe are the reasons why I never ask guests to remove their shoes. Most close friends do, but that is more of, 'I'm at Erin's house lets get comfy'.

As far as street dirt, I didn't want to bring that up, too gross!
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Griffin



Joined: 09 Jun 2006
Posts: 932
Location: England

PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ohh Bluedog...

Quote:
I simply wiped my feet very carefully and walked past in my patent leather stilettoes.


Those who know me well would be doing this Rolling Eyes but I saw that sentence and wondered... patent leather stilettoes... but what colour and how high?! Which reminds me... I haven't bought a pair of stilettoes in a while now...! I have bought boots tho' - black riding style boots, but flat-heeled.

Being a bloke I'm not supposed to like stiletto heels, but I do love boots. So 'Three Musketeers' and make me walk differently, with a slight swagger as if I had a sword at my side and a broad hat with a feather in it!

That said, I do have shoes in my costume collection and they are the only part of the collection that I have worn around the house. Purely and simply because I love them. They look so gorgeous... that and I have feet that will fit them. Well after all... why should you women have all the fun, eh?!
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Rainey



Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 2498
Location: Los Angeles, California, USA

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We've never saw that practiced growing up in NYS with all it's seasons or here on the West Coast with only one. But in wet, sometimes sloggy Vancouver it is very much standard practice.

When I'm up there we still don't do it in our own domiciles (rented or not; that's just how we live) and I have to consciously remember when visiting that I need to take care to remove the shoes because people are far too polite to tell me that I'm walking around in their houses in my shoes.
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David



Joined: 30 Sep 2004
Posts: 1855
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 11:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

But Rainey---don't you want to show off those fabulous toes!!??
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georgia



Joined: 16 May 2006
Posts: 456
Location: california

PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 4:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How is it that I have reached the age that I am (grown-up) and have never--truly, never--been to anyone's house where they asked me to leave my shoes at the door. And I grew up in the Eastern U.S., went through winters, etc. We did, in fact, leave boots and sometimes shoes (by our own choice) at the door in inclement weather, but I've never encountered a sign or a request to do so. I think you make exceptions for weather conditions and religious and cultural traditions, certainly, and thoughtful folks think of these things on their own. Also, count in beach houses, etc. No one likes all that sand indoors.

But to ask someone to remove shoes in order to save my carpet? Nope. Not this girl. In another's home, I would certainly do so if my host or hostess asked me to do so, but I just would not ask the same of my own guests.
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Rainey



Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 2498
Location: Los Angeles, California, USA

PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 7:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi, sweet David! The toes are not always so immaculately polished. ...particularly as it gets harder to bend down to reach 'em with each passing month. Shocked Shocked
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ripley



Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 35
Location: Oakland, CA, USA

PostPosted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

People who rent places that come with (or are otherwise afflicted with) light-colored carpet have good reason to try to keep it clean. Many of my friends have been in this situation. Also people who have downstairs neighbors who complain about noise (whether reasonable or not, it can be difficult for the neighbors of such complainers).

I haven't had it requested of me by friends who have hardwood floors much, which is good as that can get slippery (and also, some folks don't clean their hardwood floors as much as they might).

Hospitality runs two ways - it sounds like there's a bit of a competition pf assumptions here: between "respect for your guests" and "respect for your hosts" - I don't think one can assume that either one naturally trumps the other. I hope most of us can find a happy medium!
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gingerpale



Joined: 23 Jan 2006
Posts: 1324

PostPosted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 11:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, ripley, two sides are represented--I've often wondered-- when you get out the good dishes/sheets/towels/soap for guests are you honoring your guests or showing off? I suppose some of each..
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georgia



Joined: 16 May 2006
Posts: 456
Location: california

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 1:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Truce.

With all of the important issues that face each of us every day, personally and globally, this can surely go to the end of the list.
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Knifethrower



Joined: 29 Oct 2006
Posts: 218
Location: Heaven, actually.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 1:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My $0.02:

Here in the land of muck, we customarily take off shoes at a friend's door- a nice footwear pileup happens- we all pad around in socks while doing dinner chores and then crashing in front of the fireplace afterward with aperitifs. When more formal occasions are held, those of us Carrie Bradshaws keep our clean-bottomed shoes on- having trudged to the door in mukluks, naturally.

I hate shoes on the carpet for wear reasons, and if I go to visit, I do bring "house shoes". One friend, with a notoriously cold and meat-lockerish apartment with wood floors, had a basket of the nost unattractive hand crocheted booties by the door for his guest's comfort as well as for scuff/sound protection.

But then again, we live in Portland- one can get away with wearing butt-ugly knitwear on our feet on the street and nobody even cares.

My theory: Do unto your friend's carpet as you would have done to yours.
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Rainey



Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 2498
Location: Los Angeles, California, USA

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Knifethrower wrote:
My theory: Do unto your friend's carpet as you would have done to yours.


You would re-think that if you saw the present color of our once-white bedroom rug. Shocked Very Happy
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srk



Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 85
Location: Berkeley, CA

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't help wondering if this is a bit generational. I'm in my mid-20s, and I grew up with lots of Asian friends, so taking my shoes off in others' homes is second nature to me (and I really prefer to be barefoot, unless the floor is cold or revolting). On the other hand, I can't really imagine my 60-year-old parents taking their shoes off at other people's houses very readily, though they are quite good about having hole-free socks Smile. Thoughts?
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gingerpale



Joined: 23 Jan 2006
Posts: 1324

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh georgia--please let C&Z be the place we can come to discuss things that aren't in the headlines.

I hope nobody really believes that dark colored carpeting gets any less dirty than white -- !
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