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What is your worst culinary disaster?
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Erin



Joined: 18 Oct 2004
Posts: 1654
Location: Within view of Elliot Bay, The Olympics and every ship in the Sound

PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:28 pm    Post subject: What is your worst culinary disaster? Reply with quote

When I think about culinary disasters, I am reminded of when I was eight and my mother made a dish called "thighs suprise". She had clipped the recipe from The Seattle Times one sunday and decided to give it a go. We had a ceremonial recipe burning.

As for myself, it has to be the roasted potatoes. Back before we got married, and pre-culinary school I was really into experimenting with recipes. I had gotten onto this huge Greek kick and was making souvlaki and potatoes. Well I had forgotten a few ingredients at the store, ( and had already been twice ), so I improvised. I used red wine instead of white, forgot to even use the lemon and under salted everything. The wine was under cooked and the potatoes tasted like pure alcohol. My husband actually complained, and he is no cook.

One more to explain the level my husband cannot cook. Last year I had my appendix out, and was laid up a bit. He made me a grilled cheese sandwich and there were grill marks on it, but the texture was as if it had been boiled! He is a bit better now, as my prep cook.
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Caitlin
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 10:59 pm    Post subject: Re: What is your worst culinary disaster? Reply with quote

Ahhh.. my first time making muffins. One would almost think muffins are a fool-proof dish. But NOT for me. I have problems with breads. Embarassed I don't know what went rong with those muffins, but something did. After various tests in my suite (I was in college at the time) with some friends, we had many dents in our floor from dropping the damn things. The CIA has actually contacted me about my muffins for research purposes for armored tanks. They ended up as various props in drinking games we had that night.. well, you all know how college is.
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madameshawshank



Joined: 30 Sep 2004
Posts: 1654
Location: Penrith (where jacarandas remind me of change), New South Wales, Australia

PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 2:11 pm    Post subject: eating the sea ;-) Reply with quote

oh this one's soooooooo easy to answer ~ in the late '70s I can remember having two glass containers with yellow lids (very hip at the time tahnk you very much!). One held sugar, the other salt. This particular day I was in such a hurry....apple shortcake was the dessert...and I can still picture a friend actually spitting it out on to her plate..."What's IN this?" she screamed... .

there's plenty of punch in a cup of salt!
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David



Joined: 30 Sep 2004
Posts: 1855
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 9:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gosh, so many to chose from!! But i think the worst thing I ever came up with was a sauerkraut, mashed potatoes and sausage casserole. Just imagine three layes of differently textured sauerkraut.
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Kate



Joined: 11 Oct 2004
Posts: 16
Location: Cambridge, MA

PostPosted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Most definately it was the attempt my husband and I made at Pad Thai. We were following a recipe exactly, but in hindsight, perhaps Thai "ketchup" is different than the Heinz that we had available to us at the time. We've made plenty of things that didn't turn out as planned, but that was the only one that was completely inedible no matter how hard we tried to choke it down.
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melinda



Joined: 01 Oct 2004
Posts: 256
Location: Richmond, VA, usa

PostPosted: Fri Nov 12, 2004 9:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

we never ate mashed potatoes growing up (being from a rice-producing state) but my daughter loved them so the first time I attempted I used the cuisinart......= glue

#2 ended up ok but i thought i was being so clever ordering 2 ducks from the local oriental food market for a holiday dinner.....when i got them out to cook they not only had all appendages but had not even been gutted.....surprize...so i learned much more about ducks than i intended...and my cat suddenly thought i was wonderful
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Erin



Joined: 18 Oct 2004
Posts: 1654
Location: Within view of Elliot Bay, The Olympics and every ship in the Sound

PostPosted: Sat Nov 13, 2004 8:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Melinda,

Very funny! Despite my culinary background I cannot stand having to remove the insides, no doubt I would have whined and complained in a most dramatic fashon.

As far as the potatoes go, I did the same thing except it was for potato bread. Shocking enough it actually tured out!
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brighidsdaughter



Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 233
Location: Canton, TX USA

PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 10:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, I'll admit mine -- sourdough. I'm aware that the taste of the finished product is dependent on local factors that keep the starter alive, but I've "flunked out" on starter numerous times. Don't know it the kitchen's too hot, if I have nasties in the air, or what. Friends have given me starter time after time, and I still screw it up. It never smells nice and sour. It smells *horrible*, like (pardon my iindelicacy) vomit. I've never even tried to use it, it smells so terrible!

I'm a pretty successful baker otherwise, and routinely crank out about 21 loaves of yeast bread of various sorts over the winter holiday season.
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simona



Joined: 11 Mar 2005
Posts: 696
Location: israel

PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:43 pm    Post subject: culinary disasters Reply with quote

Erin, what a hylarious topic. I couldn't stop laughing, it was so funny.
I have lots of culinary disasters, but I do remember one in particular. I was a student , second year , in Jerusalem. I invited some friends to a "chinese dinner" , a very exotic an daring idea in Jerusalem in 1971. I had a cookbok with the recipes, bought the ingredients , chicken, beef etc and proceede to prepare. Each recipe asked for a marinade for the meats calling for cornflour. For some reason ( though I was a student of English literature) I decided it was cornmeal. So I marinated all the meats in soya and cornmeal. It was a desaster, and we ate polenta with meat, nothing got fried, and my reputation of a good cook was tarnished for a long time ( until the next dinner).

No more war, more peace!
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Crow4ever



Joined: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 16
Location: Washington State now but from South Australia

PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 10:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One of my food mishaps happened one Christmas many years ago. I was helping Mum prepare the feast, and making the mashed potatoes was one of my tasks. The potatoes were mashed to a stiff consistency with some butter, all they needed was some milk to fluff them up. Well in went the milk and after a few vigorous whisks into the warmed serving dish went the potatoes.

The table looked gorgeous and everyone was helping themselves to the yummy looking food. My brother took a huge helping of the mashed potatoes, put a good amount in his mouth, swallowed and bellowed "WHAT THE ^@%#." I had used a very brandy flavoured eggnog instead of milk!!!!!!!

My family has never let me live this gaffe down ... LOL
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Lisa



Joined: 10 Feb 2005
Posts: 20
Location: New York City, USA

PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 11:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In college I once tried to thicken a very-delicious-until-this-point pasta sauce with baking soda. It's good, you know, not to be afraid to improvise when you're out of something in the kitchen. But, well ...
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srk



Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 85
Location: Berkeley, CA

PostPosted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 12:27 am    Post subject: two amusing disasters Reply with quote

Two of my more ntertaining moments come to mind. The first is similar to the salt-vs-sugar mix-up, only mine was flour vs. cornstarch. I was at a friend's house, in about eighth grade, and we were baking chocolate cake. Though a cup of cornstarch doesn't taste nearly as bad as a cup of salt, it does make one incredibly dry and dusty cake!

My second experience was a summer experiment with marinades. Armed with the knowledge that chicken marinaded in Italian salad dressing tastes great, I tried it with raspberry walnut vinaigrette. Indeed, the chicken tasted just fine - but it turned a shocking shade of neon pink, courtesy of the raspberry juice in the dressing! It was such a horrific color that I tried to hide it in a sandwich, but even then I could see bits of pink and I just couldn't choke it down. Amamzing how psychology will get you every time.
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Tammy



Joined: 26 Feb 2005
Posts: 27
Location: Toronto, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 5:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rice. Every time. It's different problems too. Sometimes it sticks to the pot, sometimes it's too mushy, sometimes it comes out in barely edible little pellets. And I absolutely love rice. The only time I can get rice right is in a rice cooker. But I don't have one at the moment and my partner insists that I keep trying it in a pot. Bless her, she always eats it and says it's not that bad! Back me up here, but wouldn't you rather hear yummy over that!
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David



Joined: 30 Sep 2004
Posts: 1855
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 5:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah Tammy---damned by faint praise Laughing
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Judy



Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 1196
Location: buried under a pile of books somewhere in Adelaide, South Australia

PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 8:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tammy, do you have a microwave?

1 cup rice
1 1/2 cups boiling water
Microwave on high for 14 minutes.
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